In the land of the KarmaQueen…

…things are never what they seem…

again…

Sorry, this is one of those emotional, gut-wrenching “outbursts” that I hate to post.
I am sitting here, watching what is left of my relationship (if you could ever call it that) just fall apart…I really hate what happens to me emotionally at the hands of those who claim to love me. I am so upset…and confused…is it really so difficult to consider me and my feelings or what I think before going out and doing something that you know is going to hurt me? Isn’t that what you are suppose to do? Isn’t that what I do with others?

I don’t know why this is happening…this is some twisted expression of love? No, it’s not. The trust issue we have had between us for well over a year now has exploded into something much worse. I didn’t need for him to provide confirmation in the form of naked pictures of some bitch in my room, on my bed, in my clothes, while I was at work no less…

And now, that one issue is causing all kinds of problems. How do you fix something like that? Can you honestly say you love someone when you are doing something like that behind that person’s back…hiding it? And he won’t talk to me about it…acts like it didn’t happen…or like it doesn’t matter…

And all these women calling all the time…and he acts like I have no right to wonder about it…actually, I’m just starting to get it…I guess I don’t…I guess that and everything else he hides from me ARE NOT my business. Why? Because I am still on the outside looking in…where I have been since I initially tried to get back with him almost 3 years ago. I guess it’s where I’ll always be…

Later.

Advertisements

July 11, 2006 Posted by | ...it just doesn't fit... | Leave a comment